It's been almost a month since I've posted, and as most of you know, things have not gone well. My mom Reaves passed away on March 31st, 2010, after being diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer (an extremely aggressive cancer that is rarely detected during mammograms) last summer. She touched many people during her 55 years, which was evidenced by the packed memorial service and outpouring of support that my family has received throughout her illness. For all of that, I thank you. She would too. I thought I would share a few photos of my mom and I, and also post a handout from the memorial service that I put together (many of you probably already have a copy) - it's an excerpt from an email that my mom sent me while I was in college when I was going through a rough patch, with suggestions of how to take charge of your life and have a more positive outlook. My mom was always there to lend an ear and offer a kind word to anyone who needed it, so I feel like if at least one person is impacted positively from this, then her legacy will continue to live on.
And what's next for us? Well, I still have yet to finish the Singapore entries of the blog, so those will be posted next once they are finished. Brian and I have been going back and forth between Texas and Tennessee for awhile now, but we will finally be returning back to our home in Austin this week and diving into some home improvement projects we've been wanting to tackle for awhile. Unfortunately the 'big trip' is over for now, but we are planning a 2-week 'grand finale' trip in May to France and Switzerland since I really wanted to close out the trip in Paris (we are crossing our fingers for no more volcanic eruptions!). So I'll do a few blog postings on that excursion, and then we'll see where things go from there.
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Getting Through a Rough Patch
Good morning! It's a new day and I hope things are looking a little brighter. You are going through a rough patch, as all of us do at times, and I hope I can help by encouraging you and suggesting things you can do to help feel better about yourself and in charge of your life.
1) Kindness - Everyday, do at least one kindness for someone else. It doesn't have to be something big--going out of your way to say something kind doesn't take much time or effort, and it can be something as small as scattering a piece of bread for the birds, who will have a little easier day because of you. This one is very important, because if you do this, you will never have a wasted day.
2) Gratitude list - Every night, write down 5 things you're grateful for. Some days it may be things like, I'm grateful I don't have a broken arm, but if you keep doing it you'll start appreciating the good in your life, and you'll see more good things. This has made a huge difference to me since I started doing it.
3) Exercise - an all-around winner--good for your body, releases relaxing chemicals to your brain, reduces stress, gets your mind off things.
4) Laughter - a great stress reliever. Rent a funny movie--anything by Mel Brooks, The Marx Brothers, etc., watch Candid Camera. Here's a joke: What's black and white and furry and never wants to grow up? Answer below...
5) Yoga-relaxation-meditation exercises - I've been doing yoga about twice a week and though I'm not very good, I always feel more relaxed and centered. That breathing stuff helps.
6) Music - Playing it or listening to it, especially the Baroque style that has all the harmonic resolution.
7) Church - You don't have to go to services if you don't want to, though I'd recommend it, as it helps to be among people who are looking for meaning and trying to make themselves better. Just sitting in a church or chapel can be very restorative; there is an atmosphere of peace.
8) Get out in nature - I'm not sure why this works--maybe it reminds you of the connection between all things, but just spending time in the outdoors is helpful. I used to study outdoors a lot when the weather was nice.
9) Spend time with people (or animals) who make you feel good about yourself - Right now you don't need the company of people who bring you down. I hope you can start visiting the elderly again sometime. These people usually have a lot of wisdom to share and are grateful for company.
10) Keep a journal - It helps to write things out and can be very therapeutic--also helps you see patterns you might not see otherwise.
11) Uplifting reading - Yes, self-help books can be cheesy, but they can actually be helpful in giving you new ideas and suggesting new ways of looking at things. I also recommend watching Mr. Rogers, the kindest, most affirming person on TV.
12) Be kind to yourself - Buy yourself a present! Pick out something at the grocery store that you like but consider a little extravagant. Give yourself the gift of a few hours to do whatever you want. Treat yourself as kindly as you would treat someone else you care about.
Take heart--every little thing that you do to take control of your life puts you a little closer to where you want to be, and those little things will add up quickly, day by day.
The answer to the riddle? Peter Panda. Love, Reaves
“A ministry doesn’t have to be only through a church, or even through an ordination. And I think we all can minister to others in this world by being compassionate and caring. I hope you will feel good enough about yourselves that you will want to minister to others, and that you will find your own unique ways to do that. If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.” - Mr. Rogers
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